Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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