Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
