You can't special order awesome
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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