I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
