So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
