So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
