i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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