Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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