Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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