I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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