Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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