Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
