I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
