Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
