You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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