Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize