Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
