Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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