I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
