we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There r osticjed everywhere
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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