In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I need to calm my uterus...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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