I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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