is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
