My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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