I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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