No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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