Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
