she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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