I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
