you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
