I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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