Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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