If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How's work?
Spinning.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
