Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
