cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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