pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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