somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
