Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
