I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
