wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
