before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
