Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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