She's JV to your varsity
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
