Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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