Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
