That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
