Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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