I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
