She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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