So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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