saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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