I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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