My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
