Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I just shit out all my problems.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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