Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
