She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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