Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I think people are normalizing furries
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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