remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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