sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
