I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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