I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
