I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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